Joe's Apartment: Denouement

Breaking news! Joe got a couch!

That sentence implies he took an active role in the acquiring of said couch. To be more specific, a generous benefactor gifted a nice little loveseat to the basement apartment. My pro-couch campaign did not factor into this victory at all.

This is a huge step forward. Looks great, huh? I'm worried about what we will have to talk about now though. My complaining about the lack of a couch was always a good fallback for conversational lulls.

Me (while sitting on the couch): "What am I going to bitch about now?"

Frenemy

Have you ever invited two people to an event because you figured one would say no - and then they both say yes? What an etiquette dilemma. After this happened a few weeks ago, my coworker and apparent frenemy Luther wrote a blog post about my lack of manners. I tried to make it up to him, but then things got significantly worse. You'll just have to read about it here. The photo-shopped images are classic.

Motorcycles on Ice Weekend

This happened way back in January, but the sheer amount of photos I took put me off from writing about it. I am feeling invigorated, so let's go through the rundown of my trip to Norfolk to visit my some of my bestest friends Emily, Andy, Lauren and their dog Jasper.

I'll put a cute puppy photo first to up page views.

Emily and Andy live right near the water, but alas, it was too freezing that weekend to walk on the beach. Note to self - cape does not cut it in any winter weather, even in the south.

Digging this Mod tsunami warning sign, Norfolk!

Part of the weekend was devoted to making prototype whoopie pies for Lauren's fledgling business. I don't have to tell you that they were delicious. We even made logos and packaging mock-ups. Jasper stole one off the table, but he was nice enough to bring it back untouched.

We also jammed out a little (well, I played a maraca shaped like an orange). Here is Emily on guitar, Andy on mandolin and Lauren on accordion, working under the name "Family Band."

The big event of the weekend was checking out something at the Hampton Coliseum called Motorcycles on Ice. Who knew? The motorcycles had no brakes, just spikes on their tires to race around a small ice rink. We settled in to our seats (I was the only one in the arena wearing a cape, I noted), and the smell of exhaust wafted from backstage. The very first race, one minute in, a motorcycle driver immediately crashed into the wall and lay crumpled under the bike, not moving. "Paramedics to the ice," the announcer intoned.

Not a good introduction to motorcycles on ice. I was beginning to feel like a Roman at the original coliseum. Luckily, he was OK.

And the show continued. And boy, did it continue. I think I saw every vehicle short of a car race on ice. ATVs, golf carts, even Vespas. I'm good on the ice motorsport front for awhile.

Here's the children's division. Yes, really.

But then something peculiar happened. There was a female racer with a bright pink ATV riding in some of the races. I didn't notice her at first, but then I realized she wasn't just beating the men, she was schooling them. Crowd favorite for sure. She made it to the finals and in an out of body moment, I realized that I had risen to my feet and was cheering, screaming at the top of my lungs almost involuntarily, for her to win it all. Against all odds, I had gotten into ice ATV racing.

Here is "First Lady of ICE" Mandy Brodil with her daughter at the award ceremony.

Moosey

I bought my friend a cardboard moose for a wedding gift. Specifically, this one:

West Elm Safari Kraft Moose

I was hoping that it would be the weirdest present she received, but another friend shipped her a 2.5 foot high ride-on walking triceratops kids toy. Darn it! That takes the cake.

I liked the little cardboard moose, and I figured if anyone could make it work, it would be Roxanne.

Here's her awesome flat from when she lived in Scotland, wish I had taken a picture of the floor boards painted varying colors of acid green.

And here's the moose in his new home in Denver, in a built-in wine rack (they don't drink, so seems like a good place for a cardboard moose).

Hunter and Rain

This is my family's dog, Rain.

This is the voicemail I got from my mom yesterday, verbatim:

"I had a good afternoon between work, especially when Rain jumped into the overflow of the retention pond and came up with a raccoon - and went about five rounds with it. No problems with her but I think the raccoon was suffering quite a bit. Talk to you later. Bye."

Now I love our Weimaraners, but that's why I want a small dog when I get my own pet someday. You don't have to worry about a purse-size dog trying to take down a raccoon. Eeek. That is too much for me to handle.

Most of you know about our family's other dog, Hunter. The one who is 15 years old and wears diapers.

Hunter just finished his 50th session of acupuncture. The 50th one is free. Not sure about that deal. Even Chopt gives you the 10th salad free. I wonder if Hunter is the first dog to ever make it to more than 49 acupuncture sessions?

I know what you might be thinking. Doggie acupuncture???

So my mom is a teeny bit over the top when it comes to her dogs. As evidenced by the whole dog water bed purchase. What can I say, she's a dog trainer by profession.