Here's what I made last week at Meeps DC's very adorable "Palentine's Day" party hosted by Alison Baitz of On Flora. They had all the supplies and stickers and glitter ready for crafting, including this pre-made "I Hate You" slogan. "Can I make a mean one?" I asked, and the unsaid answer was: It's your world, girl. So here's what I came up with. I carried it on the 96 bus, out in the open so the glitter wouldn't smear, then scurried home via K Street.
"Look, Joe, I made something for you," I said casually. I didn't really make this for anyone but I thought it would be funny to punk Joe. Which is actually very mean.
He took it seriously. "I don't know how to take this," Joe said thoughtfully, contemplating what this might mean for our relationship. "Actually, you couldn't have been more clear."
It's a pretty cute hate card though, right? Joe wrote this tweet about it:
I better do something really sweet on Valentine's Day to make up for this. Joe's birthday is on February 13, which is inconvenient because I feel like it detracts from Valentine's Day. Haha, ok that was mean! Really, it means I can't nag him too much about planning something nice in the lead up to V-Day because his birthday takes precedence.
"Just think, next week you will have two days of pampering and gifts," I told him. He said, "No, I'll have one day of pampering and one day of crying." That's true. I have had my sky-high expectations burst in the past, leading to me crying at the dinner table in a crowded restaurant. This will be the year I mellow out. "You don't have to do anything for Valentine's Day," I told Joe, but he knew that was a trick. He's too smart for that.
I keep asking him if he's planned anything. "Not yet," he said today. "Is it because you hate Valentine's Day?" I needed to know. "It's a lot of pressure because you know whatever you do, the evening's going to end with your girlfriend crying."
It doesn't have to end that way! To be fair to Joe, I cry a lot. And he's gotten used to it, because it's so unpredictable. I'll be laughing and then suddenly crying. Laugh-crying, we call it. It used to scare him, but now it's no biggie. No matter how crazy I am, it doesn't scare him. It somehow doesn't even faze him. When I tell him every detail about a book I am reading, and the fact that I like Miley's "Adore You" single, or that I saw a cute dog on the street, he always listens like it's the most important thing in the world. And we think the same things are funny. I hope he thinks this blog post is funny. I love you, Joe! Happy Valentine's Day!