Tung Toos

It's getting to be the holiday season, and I know that everyone is looking for a gift ideas, so let me tell you about a gift that will really get people talking. It's possibly the best gift I have ever received in a swag bag. Three words: Candy. Tongue. Tattoos.

It's pretty much exactly what you imagine it to be - you press the sheet against your tongue for five seconds or so and then you have a tongue tattoo! Also it is sour grape flavor. This might be the biggest candy technology breakthrough of our time.

My particular pack was military themed, which is exactly what you want branded on your tongue, I guess. But there are other choices of Tung Toos - you can personalize them for everyone on your gift list! Maybe something patriotic like an American flag or a football for all those sports fans. You can give them to your great aunt, mother-in-law, priest, etc. and I'm sure they will be thrilled.

I took some to work and made all my coworkers try them out. I am so professional. Even one of my supervisors took some - for his children, supposedly. Maybe this could be like a new thing - instead of taking coffee breaks at work, you could take tongue tattoo breaks. Here's what mine looked like:

It's a fighter jet, can't you tell? Duh! I think something went wrong. There should be a FAQ section on that website - "Why does my tongue tattoo look like a blob?"

My friends and coworkers fared better:




Sorry friends and coworkers, I just put pictures of your tongues on the Internet. But it's not creepy! It's not creepy at all.

OK, it's a little creepy.