Mild Curses, Volume 13

  • May your salad consist solely of those crunchy, white middle parts of the lettuce. Gross!
  • May your friend borrow a piece of your jewelry and then get a million more compliments than you've ever gotten while wearing said jewelry.
  • May the the restroom at your place of employment have those auto-sinks that turn on and off by themselves, and then you get so accustomed to them that everywhere you go - restaurants, friends' homes - you just hold your hands under the faucet and wait for something to happen.