Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

For the past year, I've been going to a really posh dental practice. Gorgeous Zen-style waiting room, dentist chairs outfitted with iPods, the works.

None of this is necessary, I know. At first I thought this choice of dentist was just related to my delusions of grandeur. That's part of it surely, but yesterday i realized the real reason I continue to make appointments there: the hygienists always ask me, "Wow, have you lost weight?"

Every single time. So much so that it goes well beyond the realm of possibility (not that I am complaining). I think it is part of their business model.

This simple phrase works so well, I think other companies should adopt it. Like McDonalds - cashiers could say, "Thank you for your order... Have you lost weight? Would you like to supersize that?"Or telemarketers. "Hello, I'm calling on behalf of RCN and I'd like to inform you of the many reasons you should switch your cable company today. But first - have you lost weight?"

New Hat or "Yes, I am familiar with the works of Søren Kierkegaard"

I don't know how this could have slipped my mind, but I forgot to mention that I bought the H&M raspberry beret - the Prince-lyrics-inspired hat I mentioned here.

I got it on the hottest day in August, so I'm just starting to wear it now.  But as it so happens, I have the perfect occasion for it to make its official debut. My friend decided she wanted to be more educated about the deep thinkers of the world, so she is starting a Philosophers Club. It is sort of like a book club, except we will read philosophy and muse and ponder and mull and all the things that go along with that.

We'll meet in a coffee shop, I will wear my raspberry beret, one friend will use a cigarette holder, another friend will smoke cloves. We all may or may not wear black turtlenecks: haven't decided yet. First up on the reading list, the works of Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard! (PS - my iPhone auto-filled in Kierkegaard's name, it is so darn smart).

PS again: And just for fun...

Gen Y, Y Chromosome

I was thinking about setting up a friend, but I needed to do some reconnaissance. I asked our mutual friend what type of guys aforementioned friend usually goes for - frat boys?

"No, I think she used to like frat boys but now she's trying to move away from that."

OK, but what other sorts of guys are there? And then it struck me: There are only two types of boys our age (20 - 30). I put together an org chart for illustrative purposes.

That's it.

You're either one or the other. Of course, within those types you have your various subsets. My friend and I brainstormed a few. This is by no means an exhaustive list.

And there's bound to be some overlap within select groups. The blue boxes represent possible variations:

My Shirt Blends in With the Wallpaper

Made it into a Brightest Young Things party pic... Is my work on this planet complete?

Kidding!  I do read this website a lot so it is pretty neat.  Actually, I thought it would be really super cool, but it ended up feeling sort of empty.  Fame is a hideous bitch goddess.

Kidding - again!  I asked the photographer, "So your job is to make this party look like more fun than it really is?"  Don't think he thought that was funny.  But he did a good job!

Interesting story about BYT in the Post here.

Mild Curses, Volume Seven

• May Greenpeace fundraisers always approach you on the street, for now and for the rest of your days.
• May you get "Party in the USA" stuck in your head.
• May you have to sneeze the second after you finish putting on your mascara, so when you open your eyes, mascara is smeared everywhere. Also, this will happen right before you are supposed to run out the door.
  

Knit One, Throw Two Tantrums

I think I am pretty even-keeled normally, but I have an Achilles' heel - crafts. Like needlework, crochet, painting, etc. If I can't understand how to do something the first time I try to learn it, I tend to freak out. Especially if people around me pick up whatever we are learning quickly, and my project is a jumbled mess. Which is often the case. I just get so frustrated.

Example: my friend Tori tried to teach a few of us how to crochet back in college. I couldn't get it no matter how I tried and I started to cry. She was like, "Whoa, there, that's too intense of a reaction for yarn." Well, she didn't say that per se, but I could tell she was thinking it.

What can I say, I'm sensitive, I guess. And a perfectionist, at least when it comes to crafts. The rest of my life is sort of slapdash, but you have to have some priorities.This Sunday I went to a knitting class with another friend. We were supposed to learn how to make a scarf with a striped pattern. It was advertised as an easy project, yet involved complicated phrases like "yarn over" and "pearl." Wait, that's a basic one. Anyway, I started over from scratch three times, and on the fourth time, my scarf was still wrong. That was the final straw.

So... I basically threw a little knitting tantrum. "I quit!!!" I exclaimed and dramatically started unraveling the scarf. Needles and balls of yarn went flying. All the kindly knitting ladies thought I was seriously unhinged. They weren't wrong.

I think about this a lot - is the key to life avoiding things that you are bad at? This is problematic as I am bad at most things.Or is that terrible advice and you'll never learn anything that way? But why should I try to make a difficult scarf that is going to make me feel like stabbing people with knitting needles, when I could make a basic one that I already know how to do? Aren't hobbies supposed to be fun?