If Only Elaine Knew

I think I discovered my preferred style of dance: reggae! Not a huge huge reggae fan but perhaps the dance could be transposed to other genres of music. I went to a reggae show and it seemed to be a lot of arms akimbo, a shuffling sort of hopping and head bopping. Don't forget the head bopping.

In other words, spastic flailing. At least that's how the white teenage boys at the show were dancing. It's the dance for us rhythmically challenged folks. Too much elbow action though. I'm almost got elbowed in the face a couple times by an overzealous dancer. Next time, I'm wearing a hockey helmet.

The Thing with Feathers

Last week my cab driver was listening to CPAC on the radio. Should've known this would cause a political diatribe. He named everything terrible with the U.S. at the moment - war, corporations controlling the government, the inequalities between the haves and the have-nots, healthcare prices.When I got out of the car, I said something like, "I hope things get better."And he said, "What is hope? Hope is like being in a lifeboat without oars and saying "I hope we can get to shore."

Thanks, DC cab driver! Quite thoroughly depressed now.

Mild Curses, Volume 10

• May you love dance music yet tragically be born without the ability to dance.
  
• May you, to your eternal regret, push the wrong button at the vending machine and end up with the worst variety of Hostess snack cake.
• May you hail a cab, hop in, shut the door - only to discover that your cab driver has questionable personal hygiene habits.

Zero

On Repeat

Remember how I said one of my favorite things in life was to listen to a song over and over on repeat?

Here is evidence of that habit:


Miike Snow's "Animal" = 20 times in one day. And that doesn't even count the times I listened to it on last.fm before I downloaded it. PS - You can get it here for free!

Jessica Simpson is $7 Richer and I'm $7 Poorer

Over-the-knee boots were on trend this winter, but I'm too cheap to spring for them. So I settled for the next closest thing - over-the-knee socks.

The cheapest ones will do. That means you, Jessica Simpson knee socks at Filene's Basement.

Judging from the packing, nothing seemed amiss.

But when I put them on....

Uh, Jessica? Did you forget something?

No toe! Just a long tube of fabric, like leg warmers or arm warmers or something. Socks should have a toe. Socks ought to be contractually obligated to have a toe.