"I have never pictured my own wedding. I do want to get married. It's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos - you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of our life instead of just wandering into a tattoo parlor on some idle Sunday and saying, "I feel like I should have one of these suckers by now. I'll take a thorny rose and a "MOM" anchor, please. No, not that one - the big one." - Sloane Crosley, "I Was Told There'd Be Cake"
Awkward Album Signing - Of Montreal Edition
I don't have that many labels on my blog's tag cloud. One I do have is Of Montreal. That's how much I like this band. I've already written about how I think Kevin Barnes is a first-rate lyricist and that I want to follow them on tour like a Deadhead. So yeah, I like the band.
And I'm so feeling this song from the new album:
Is it the line "I did everything I could to make you happy/ I participated in all your protests/ Supported your stupid little blog" that speaks to me?
Or maybe I'm just a crazy girl...
I went to see them in September when they stopped through Washington. It was going to be my fourth Of Montreal concert and I decided that I needed to meet Kevin Barnes. It had to happen. Life goal, we're talking here.
Lo and behold, I saw a listing on BYT for an album signing with the band the day after Monday's 9:30 show. I walked over during my lunch break and got in line with 15 or so fans - all hipsters, some heavily tattooed and a few 12-year-olds. I felt like a narc in my cardigan and sensible heels. There was one other girl wearing a suit.
We waited around on the sidewalk for 15 minutes and then filed into the office building to buy our CDs and merchandise to get signed. With this, the girl in a suit turned to me and asked, "What is this?"
"It's an album signing with this band," I said.
"It's not a job interview? What building is this? Is it 707 G Street?"
Oh man, you are way off, I thought... About as off as one could be.
I wonder what was going through her mind when she waited in line. Maybe something like - "Are these my competitors? Why are we in a line? Dressed pretty casually aren't they? And some are 12 years old... I've got this in the bag."
I hope she made it to the right place!
With that, we went up to the Gibson Guitar Showroom and waited for the band to show up. I tried to compose what I would say to Kevin. "I love your work" just wouldn't do. But I had another idea.
At the show the day before, he showed up after a costume change in black sequin shorts. Just like the ones I wore to Lady Gaga!
Kevin's outfit
My sequin shorts at Lady Gaga. These are a pivotal item in my wardrobe.
I waited in line for my chance to get my album signed.
As my lunch hour ticked away, finally I made it to the front of the line.
And here's our conversation:
Me: Great show yesterday.
Kevin: Hey, thanks. [something to that effect]
Me: So, I have the same black sequin shorts as you.
Kevin: Heh.
** Stony Silence**
Me: Just thought you should know.
** Stony Silence**
Ughhhhhh. I weirded out the guy who wears this onstage.
Every time I meet a celebrity, I manage to freak them out. Or insult them in some way. Remember the Justin Bobby incident? I pulled a full-on Mel when I ran into Bret from Flight of the Conchords on the street in NYC. My only positive interaction was with David Sedaris - what a gracious human being he is.
The problem is that I try to be charming. It's not working. Not to self: next time you meet a celeb, be as bland as possible.
Oh well, another life goal accomplished! And I'm glad the band did the signing, it was very cool of them to do that.
This whole story is way belated, but I'm going to post some pictures from Monday's concert. I know the show got some mixed reviews, but I had a great time. You have to stand up at the front. It's so much better from that vantage point. More energy and more people jumping up and down. There will be a lot of middle schoolers, but just wait - before you know it, it will be their curfew and they'll all disappear because it's a school night.
Flying Croissants, Popsicles and More
Weekend in review:
1.) A homeless man threw a croissant in my general direction. He was rummaging through a garbage bag full of day-old pastries and pitching the rejects into the street. Don't see that everyday! He had a good arm, the croissants were flying.
2.) Went to a crab feast in Maryland. Completely legit - pitchers of Bud Light, crabs in cardboard boxes on tables, and Old Bay everywhere.
4.) Went to the Eels concert and saw E, who is the coolest dude ever. He rocked out, then complained that the D.C. crowd wasn't rocking hard enough, then threw fistfuls of Popsicles into the crowd during his set. Flying food seemed to be a theme this weekend...
The opening act included a "rock and roll ventriloquist."
Piano Recital, in the Style of Lady Gaga
So, six tickets together. I knew that they weren't going to be good, but sure enough, very last row. We kept climbing and climbing till there was nowhere left to climb.
Ah well, we got an aerial view. And heard all the hits. I'm not used to concerts with plots, very Broadway. I think Lady Gaga could be an effective cult leader. I was getting a pseudo religious vibe during some of her speeches.
But I don't care what anyone says, the girl can sing!
This is Tori's picture of the big screen. Note the Cavaliers shirt.
At one point, Gaga sat down at a piano for some stripped down versions of her songs. My friend Kate said it reminded her of the piano recital I dragged her to in college.
Kate: Yeah, remember when you played the piano in a bikini?
Me: Hmm..
Kate: And then you played a few notes with your foot while wearing high high heels?
Me: Oh, uh huh.
Kate: And then a guy wrapped in an American flag while playing a guitar came over and simulated something during the song.
Me:
Kate: And then you set the piano on fire?
Kate: You got an A, didn't you?
Me: No, I failed because the piano was ablaze.
Hair Bow, in the Style of Lady Gaga
Supposedly, if you mention the words "Lady Gaga," your internet traffic will skyrocket. Let's try it.
I do have a reason to do this - it's not completely gratuitous. My amazing college friends and I met up for Gaga's show in Charlottesville. I know, far afield from D.C., but those Verizon tickets sold out in a snap. I was able to get six tickets together at the UVA arena, so off we went.
Part of the fun of the concert is dressing up, and there are so many Lady Gaga incarnations to choose from. Check out what my crafty friend Tori made:
How cute is she? Just a little fake hair, some styrofoam, and voila! Don't ask me how she got it to stay firmly secured to the side of her head.
Sadly, they didn't allow dogs at the Monster Ball, no matter how fabulous their extensions. Tori's puppy Isabel had to stay home.
Mild Curses, Volume 16
- May you mispronounce the word "foilage."
- May you be disappointed to realize that the "Keeping Up"listing you spotted on your cable tv's guide is in fact "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and not "Keeping Up Appearances."
- May someone end a conversation by telling you to "Hang in there," when you thought things in your life were humming along just fine. Do they know something that you don't?
