Thwarted Ikea Trip
My roommate Christine and I had every intention two weeks ago to go to Ikea and buy a coffee table. And perhaps a floor lamp for my bedroom. This one, maybe?
We headed out down Georgia Avenue with the best of intentions, chatting away, when all of a sudden, Christine slammed on the brakes as the car in front of us skidded to a stop. We kept rolling and tapped the car's bumper.
Luckily, there was no damage to either car. The only problem was that Christine's brakes weren't working right. That's a big problem.
So the Ikea trip was off. I said we should get some dinner while we waited for the tow truck driver to arrive. It was a desolate-looking stretch of road, but then, like a beacon, we saw a little diner down the block. I looked through the window, and it seemed crowded, with people eating at every table. Strangely enough, I saw a clown sitting at one of the tables in the window.

I explained our situation to the waitress and asked her if an hour was enough time to eat in the dining room.
"Well, we're pretty busy tonight, on account of the clown," she said.
I guess Bubbles the clown is a big draw. While Bubbles whipped up balloon animals for the kids, Christine and I ate take-out cheesesteaks in the vestibule of the restaurant. The waitresses were nice enough to let us do that. Maybe I was a little loopy from the stress of this, but can I tell you that this was the best cheesesteak I've had? And I've been to Philly! Woodside Delicatessen, Silver Spring. Try it! I'd go back. The decor was quaint too.

The tow truck driver showed up right on time. The two of us slid into the front seat with the driver after he hooked up Christine's car. We tried to make conversation. But the conversation veered in a direction I personally wish it hadn't gone, when he started talking about how he broke up with his girlfriend recently.
"She thought every female customer I had wanted to jump my bones," he said. Polite laughter from us.
"Of course, I do date my customers sometimes," he said.
This wasn't going to be one of those times.
Then he continued that he liked to buy his lady friends cologne and fancy lingerie, not the trashy kind, mind you, real nice lingerie. Real nice. I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing. I don't think he would've liked that response.
So we got the car situation straightened out and when we got out of the pickup truck, he gave us his phone number and said don't hesitate to call him if the car breaks down again, or even if we just want to talk.
Think I Found a New Email Signature
Whenever I read old letters, like the ones in "Nothing Daunted," I feel a pang of loss for our language. The formality, the eloquence - we just don't talk that way anymore. Maybe I'll try to bring it back. I will adopt the signature that I found in the book, written by Ferry Carpenter in his correspondence. Instead of saying "Sent from my iPhone," the auto signature will say:
Mild Curses, Volume 18
- May you absent-mindedly close the lid to an expensive lipstick without retracting it and the lipstick ends up smeared in the top of the tube as a result.
- May you show up to a party either overdressed or underdressed. Whichever will be more embarrassing.
- May you labor painstakingly over an email and then realize a second after you sent it that you forgot to put anything in the subject line.
Fashion Cues from Jersey Shore
I no longer have a TV since I moved to my new place. It hasn't cramped my style much. The most embarrassing thing about not having a TV is that I found myself actually going online to watch Jersey Shore episodes. (Oh man, I just typed that as Jersey Whore by accident. I'm sure I'm not the first person to make that joke).
Yes, I couldn't say offhandedly, "Oh, I left the TV on and Jersey Shore was next so I watched it while I cleaned my living room." No, it actually took forethought and planning and intention for me to watch this crap.
But I will own up to liking Jersey Shore. The last season was pretty tired, you can tell that they can barely stand each other now, but I guess I have an affection for the characters from the first season, when it was fresh and they were guileless and not jaded and I didn't even know what a "guido" was exactly.
My main takeaway from this season was that it turns out I dress like someone on Jersey Shore. No, it's not JWOWW or Snookie or Deena (shudder). Turns out Vinny and I share some of the same clothing choices!
Who knew? We both like purple pants.

Did he buy his at Forever 21 too? I had some acid-washed purple jeans from F21 but I recently traded up to aubergine corduroys as a more grown-up solution. Check em' out!

Shirt: Zara, Cords: Blank NYC, Boots: Jeffrey Campbell "Climbers"
So we both share a love of purple pants. But this is not an isolated incident. On the very first episode, he wore a t-shirt that I wear all the time.

Ha! I love Gemma Correll, the illustrator behind this shirt. Her drawings and sense of humor are both so pitch-perfect. Plus, I love pugs. They are adorable little monsters.
I found the shirt in the men's section of Urban Outfitters back in the summer and bought it on a whim. "I couldn't resist," I told the tatted-up cashier as I handed him the t-shirt. "Whatever, lady," his rolled eyes seemed to say.

Happy Dec 1!

Did you have advent calendars growing up? I got one every year, and I hope I'll have one every year for all my years.
Every day, I looked forward to opening the little door to discover a reindeer or stocking-shaped piece of chocolate that tasted vaguely of cardboard, but no matter. This really gets you in the holiday spirit for the whole month.
My mom called me a few days ago, right before my parents' big vacation to Hawaii. "Oh, I meant to tell you," she said. "I bought advent calendars for you guys, but then I forgot to give them to you and since I won't see you for awhile, I gave them to the neighborhood kids."
Well, shoot. I love stories where people tell me about the gifts they got me and then subsequently gave away. I guess the kids in the neighborhood were happy, but this 27-year-old needs an advent calendar, dangit!
I had to buy my own at CVS yesterday. Right in the nick of time!