Mild Curses, Volume 18

  • May you absent-mindedly close the lid to an expensive lipstick without retracting it and the lipstick ends up smeared in the top of the tube as a result.
  • May you show up to a party either overdressed or underdressed. Whichever will be more embarrassing.
  • May you labor painstakingly over an email and then realize a second after you sent it that you forgot to put anything in the subject line.

Mild Curses, Volume 16

  • May you mispronounce the word "foilage."
  • May you be disappointed to realize that the "Keeping Up"listing you spotted on your cable tv's guide is in fact "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and not "Keeping Up Appearances."
  • May someone end a conversation by telling you to "Hang in there," when you thought things in your life were humming along just fine. Do they know something that you don't?

Mild Curses, Volume 13

  • May your salad consist solely of those crunchy, white middle parts of the lettuce. Gross!
  • May your friend borrow a piece of your jewelry and then get a million more compliments than you've ever gotten while wearing said jewelry.
  • May the the restroom at your place of employment have those auto-sinks that turn on and off by themselves, and then you get so accustomed to them that everywhere you go - restaurants, friends' homes - you just hold your hands under the faucet and wait for something to happen.